it was foolish

thank you guys for talking me through about stop blogging. it's my own blog, my thoughts and it's up to me for what i want to do with it.

but somehow i'd to be sensitive about the person's feelings for i'm gonna blog about it.

the whole story was that the gal whom i was waiting for coming to 9 years and known her for about 10 years already, her boyfriend hacked into my current gmail a/c which i use to blog. it was valentine's day and it caused some trouble for her. i was angry and pissed at him for causing so much problems not only to me but her also.

he went through all that shit just to read my blog and find out more things about her. to me, it's like opening my heart and reading my contents in it and later using that information and causing more problems to her.

the whole time i was very, very angry and it caused me certain decisions or actions that i regretted it. cos on that valentine's day itself, i was having the worst day of my life. usually i was complaining my day is bad and it's the worst.

well, THAT WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE, VALENTINE'S DAY 2008, it started with me waking up late for work, forget to bring my camera handphone but lucky for me, i got my other handphone with me in my bag and it's fully charged. later on the train, i was having a stomachache halfway through the journey. i thought i could hold it till i reach office but i was wrong. i stopped at tanjong pagar mrt and faster do my business. therefore, i was late for work. once, i took over shift, work just keeps flowing in and kept me busy all the way till 11am++.

after lunch, i was received a call from her saying that my flowers for her on valentine's day has been delivered early at Night Safari ( she works there after school). i thought this could not be any worse than all that. later one, she smsed me saying that fucker/bastard/asshole making noise about my blog. i was puzzled. cos the last time he made noise about it, i shut down the first one and set up this current one private. i get to decide who reads my blog and everything. the next message, saying he hacked into my blog and read everything about it.

the next thing, just came into my mind instantaneously. i replied without thinking, saying if i can't have some privacy with you then i think i should stay away from you. YES, i know. i should get kick in my face for replying that. after work, i was damn remorseful. i didn't spare any thoughts for her feelings and i just replied that. the whole time, on my way meeting Cheng and Alwyn, i was hoping some car would just knocked me down and just end my miserable day for me. then i replied back to her an apology and saying maybe after the whole thing has blown over and after i cooled down, i would call her or she would call me.

at this point, i'm not angry at that fucker/bastard/asshole but i'm just feeling very remorseful about the message i sent out about staying away from her.

on another note, Cheng's granny has passed away on Friday. i went for her funeral today and it got me thinking seriously about death. i'll blog about it tomorrow. my prayers would go out to Cheng's granny and his family.